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Live and Learn from the Newsies

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These are really funny....
Everything you need to know about life you learn from Newsies
 
 
*Have a nice reporter pay for your lunch as much as possible.

*Never ask a smart ass how he slept...you'll always get a smart ass answer.

*Don't sleep next to short annoying fellows that are likely to steal your cigars. Unless of course you want to start off the morining with a musical tirade.

*Give a newsie a curtain and he'll dry his hands on it.

*Dancing in an alley, trying to look exasperated makes you look incredibly hot!!

*Pretty much everybody can lie. Even Mr. Goody toe shoes walkin mouth and his little annoying brother.

*You can get away with wearing clothes that don't match, but having a gold pocket watch if your a street rat.

*It doesn't matter that the woman you're drooling over looks like she could be your grandma

*A little cane with an intricate golden top and a wooden slingshot can do wonders for you level of intimidation.

*You don't actually have to be there to have a mother who's looking for you.

*Even if you give a nun a dirty look she'll still give you a piece of moldy bread.

*When people raise the prices of anything, always listen to a guy named Jack...he'll tell you what to do!

*Climb statues as much as possible, it'll make you feel 10 again!

*your friends will always be there for you, and they'll defend you to the end with their sling shots

*Writing the word STRIKE on a chalk board makes you look really good!!!

*If a fast talking, delusional Irish boy tells you his name is Kelly...he's lying.

*If you have a family, trying to blend with "poor orphans and runaways" is usually a bad idea. You end up looking stupid and accused of having an affair with a reporter.

*In NYC you can just break out into song and dance any time you want and noone cares.

*You could be the best gymnamst in teh world and you'd still be sellin' papes down at Bottle Alley.

*Don't buy roast beef unless it costs 15 cents and is served by a dancing waiter.

*Always have your own glass of sasprilla when toasting to someone.

*Always be suspicious of girls named Sarah or Medda.

*If you're the only female influence in a crowd of young boys you have a pretty good chance seeing one of them without their...papes.

*If you're buying lunch nobody cares if you ripped up your couch to make your bowtie.

*Never depend on a guy named Racetrack to watch your little brother. Where was Les in the next scene????

*Don't be surprised if you friend turns on you to fullfill his own dreams. *Always accept rides from guys named Roosevelt...odds are they're pretty nice.

*Check your fire escape every morining...you never know who could be out there.

*Never dress like Little Bo Peep when going to a rally.

*If you know your going to get another 3 months in the refuge...LEAVE HIS SAUERKRAUT ALONE!!!

*Storied based on actuall evnets are always LOOSELY based. Sure Spot Conlon wore pink suspenders...but did he tap dance on tables??? We aren't quite sure.

*If you plan on sleeping in a staute...just to let you know everyone can see how dirty your feet are.

*If you happen to be in bed with another newsie your lucky if all that's in your face is their foot.

*Don't bother with an alarm clock!!! Get a Kloppman!!!

*It's harder than you think to sing and shave at the same time.

*The easiest way to distract a newsie is to talk about a girl...a bet...a fight...oh come on!!! It aint' hard to distract a newsie..just shove him in the head.

*If you grab someone's towel don't be surprised if they leap over head.

*If Mush runs in front of you and starts doing flips...just nod and walk away.

*There is no point in lying if you can improve the truth.

*Grab a bandana and a rope and jump up on a staute and suddenly you're God.

*Make friends with Spot Conlon...It's just easier that way.

*To live is to be a newsie,to be a newsie is to live.

---credited to http://www.angelfire.com/bc2/newsies/learn.html